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| − | Harry Potter is an actor and singer who has starred in films such as ''The Wizard of Oz'' and ''Casino Royale''. |
+ | Harry Potter is an actor and singer who has starred in films such as ''The Wizard of Oz'' and ''Casino Royale'', and provides the voice for protaganist [[Gordon Freeman]] in the [[Half Life]] series. He is also the 44th President of the United States. |
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==Early Life== |
==Early Life== |
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| − | Harry Potter was born in Paris, France on February |
+ | Harry Potter was born in Paris, France on February 18th, 1879 to Angelina Jolie and Regis Philbin. He claims that his parents died in a car crash when he was three, though he wonders why they're still with him now. Potter then lived with his uncle Sean Connery and aunt Celine Dion. He was tutored by a robot for eleven years after which time he attended Oxford, earning his Doctorate by the age of fourteen. At the age of fifteen Harry Potter attended Magik Skooling at an island close to Haiti where he was instructed by Invader Dartmouth-Katrina, a four-thousand year old Na'vi Sorceress from Pandora. There he was trained in the ancient "Order of the Lipids" where he learned his magic Vulcan capabilities of ALLLogic sorcery. After re-slaying Zombie-Grendel, Beo-Potter , I mean Potterwulf, I mean... Harry Potter.... at the age of sixteen, was accepted in to the "Intergalactic Space Wizards College" when he was given The Space-Warp Thingy by a magic carpet. |
==Early Stardom== |
==Early Stardom== |
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| − | Harry was cast in the lead role of |
+ | Harry was cast in the lead role of "Yo Y.O." in the movie, "What a yo-yo."'' ''Harry was then asked to star in the 1925 remake of the hit movie ''The Godfather''. He played the role of Mary J. Blige in ''The Godfather'' and recieved the Academy Award for Best Sandra Bullock Impression. He then starred in the title role in ''Wyatt Earp'' and played Bill Cosby in that movie. He recieved the Academy Award for Best Talk Show for his role in that film. |
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==Harry's Big Break== |
==Harry's Big Break== |
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| − | Harry Potter got his big break playing the Tooth Fairy in The Wizard of Oz. He then starred in'' Casino Royale ''as Bugs Bunny. Harry then took a break from acting to record his debut album entitled '' |
+ | Harry Potter got his big break playing the Tooth Fairy in The Wizard of Oz. He then starred in'' Casino Royale ''as Bugs Bunny. Harry then took a break from acting to record his debut album entitled ''Why do today what I can put off 'till tomorrow?''.The album won a Grammy for Best Album To Play When You're Working Out. He then starred in the movie ''Annie Get Your Gun ''as Hannah Montana. |
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| + | His political career didn't start until after he admitted to having hit himself in the head with a hammer in a Chinese Folk Custom for skin renewal. He was immeditaly loved by the Guns and Rifles Club, and the "I'm an Idiot" club. |
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==Later Life== |
==Later Life== |
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| + | Harry Potter retired after several hundred years of dutiful loyalty to The Crown onboard the H.M.S.S. (Her Majesty's Space Ship) CannyMeetings as Captain Superior of HMSR (Her Majesty's Space-Realm) Harry S. Potter. He retired within proximity to Pandora and abandon Return Liscensure to Planet: Earth, taking up residence on Pandora the rest of his days. Harry Potter Died on Pandora during a local award ceremony when he was struck in the the head by Jessica Simpson with his own trophy. |
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| − | Harry's last acting role wa splaying Bruce the Shark in Jaws. He recieved the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Academy of Stripping at Award Shows in 1985. Harry was murdered by Jessica Simpson on March 5, 1987. Potter ecieved numerous posthumous awards including the Academy Award for Best Looking Celebrity When We Saw the Celebrity After Illegaly Digging Up Their Body And Then We Threw The Body Into The Ocean And Yes We Are Perfectly Aware That We Will Face Numerous Lawsuits. |
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| − | ==Personal Life== |
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| − | Harry dated numerous women including Cleopatra and Heidi Klum. Harry married Madonna on April 7, 1943. They later divorced after he admitted to People Magazine that he had an affair with a Paula Abdul. He became saddened by his actions that he later came out saying that he was gay. He admitted that he was currently dating Neil Patrick Harris. They broke up and Harry started to perform naked at the Male Strippers House in New York City. He andmitted to dating Elton John and they became a couple. Harry proposed to Elton, but due to gay marriage being illegal, Harry decided to change his gender. Harry became Harriet Potter and they married on June 8, 1985. Harry became pregnant and gave birth to Elvis Presley on June 19, 1986. Harry believed that ghosts were constantly giving birth to future world leaders. He was an activist for gay rights and was murdered by Jessica Simpson for his beliefs at a gay rights rally. Simpson was later found guilty of also killing gay rights activists Bill Clinton, Charlie Chaplin, Ozzy Osbourne, Grace Kelly, and Potter's ex-wife Madonna. |
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| − | '''Drug Use''' |
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| + | ==Links== |
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| − | Potter was arrested on July 14, 1947 for marajuana use. He plead guilty and spent three years behind bars. He was again arrested after breaking into a bank while intoxicated. Potter's house was raided where authorities found stashes of marajuana, cocaine, and crack. He was put back in jail for five more years. After being released from jail he admitted to sleeping with a female security guard named Britney Spears. He also admitted to sleeping with a male security guard who he kept his identity hidden. He later admitted that the security guard was infact his husband Elton John. He descriped their encounter to NBC News as "He was walking through the halls to check on everyone. Everyone was asleep except for me. We had grown to know each other and be friends. He told me he was gay that night. I told him that I was too and if he didn't come into my cell and have an intimate encounter, I would tell everyone his secret. He agreed and we took off our clothes. We laid on the stone floor and romped around. I would lick his penis once or twice. Then he would lick mine. I licked his nipples. He licked mine. We wrapped our legs around the other. The sex that night was fun. We did that once a week for the rest of my sentence. I would whisper to him sometime that I loved him. He bured his face into my butt one night. I told him that he was the best thing that happened to me... I recall my favorite encounter... He walked down those stairs already naked because he knew that everyone was asleep. I had already stripped because I knew he was coming that night... I stripped every night because I was used to sleeping like that at home. The inmates in the cells across from me didn't mind because they were also gay. They once said to me that my penis was the sexiest they had ever seen... but back to my favorite encounter. He didn't open the iron barred door at first. We just mashed our bodys as hard as we could between the door. I kissed him and he told me he loved me. He opened the door and hugged me. We fell backwards as he laid on top of me. He scooted down my body towards my gentials. He tickled my testicles and stuck the whole penis in his mouth. I chuckled at this intimate action. I knew there was nothing to worry about because the only security camera was down there was halfway up the staircase that leads to the police station. We grapped each others penises and rubbed them with our hands We squeezed them playfully. I then took my penis and stuck it halfway into his anus. He pulled it out and turned around. He reached for my head and pulled my head towards his. We proceeded to kiss as I made love with our legs. He scooted down and started to suck on my left nipple. I told him to hop onto my cot and we fell asleep together. I woke up and told him to leave before someone came and found him. We had more fun on these special "sex dates" then I ever did with any of my straight exes." His encounters were written about in a book by Elton John that was published a year after Potter's death. The book, which was called <u>Me and Harry: Our Late Night and Daytime Intimate Sex Romps</u>, was a number one best seller with 94,000,000 copies sold. Elton John later stated that he loved to perform intimate actions on Harry's penis and nipples, and would have rather harry stay a male then become a female because "licking the vagina and the boobs aren't the same because my tounge doesn't have to come out on a man's penis, but it does on a ladies vagina, and the woman's boobs are to protrusive to really enjoy". Elton did admit he enjoyed burying his face in between Harry's boobs though, and would sometimes squeeze milk from them and drink it. |
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| + | *[[Lord of the Rings]] |
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| + | *[[Narnia (series)]] |
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[[Category:People]] |
[[Category:People]] |
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Latest revision as of 05:26, 9 February 2010
Harry Potter is an actor and singer who has starred in films such as The Wizard of Oz and Casino Royale, and provides the voice for protaganist Gordon Freeman in the Half Life series. He is also the 44th President of the United States.
Early Life[]
Harry Potter was born in Paris, France on February 18th, 1879 to Angelina Jolie and Regis Philbin. He claims that his parents died in a car crash when he was three, though he wonders why they're still with him now. Potter then lived with his uncle Sean Connery and aunt Celine Dion. He was tutored by a robot for eleven years after which time he attended Oxford, earning his Doctorate by the age of fourteen. At the age of fifteen Harry Potter attended Magik Skooling at an island close to Haiti where he was instructed by Invader Dartmouth-Katrina, a four-thousand year old Na'vi Sorceress from Pandora. There he was trained in the ancient "Order of the Lipids" where he learned his magic Vulcan capabilities of ALLLogic sorcery. After re-slaying Zombie-Grendel, Beo-Potter , I mean Potterwulf, I mean... Harry Potter.... at the age of sixteen, was accepted in to the "Intergalactic Space Wizards College" when he was given The Space-Warp Thingy by a magic carpet.
Early Stardom[]
Harry was cast in the lead role of "Yo Y.O." in the movie, "What a yo-yo." Harry was then asked to star in the 1925 remake of the hit movie The Godfather. He played the role of Mary J. Blige in The Godfather and recieved the Academy Award for Best Sandra Bullock Impression. He then starred in the title role in Wyatt Earp and played Bill Cosby in that movie. He recieved the Academy Award for Best Talk Show for his role in that film.
Harry's Big Break[]
Harry Potter got his big break playing the Tooth Fairy in The Wizard of Oz. He then starred in Casino Royale as Bugs Bunny. Harry then took a break from acting to record his debut album entitled Why do today what I can put off 'till tomorrow?.The album won a Grammy for Best Album To Play When You're Working Out. He then starred in the movie Annie Get Your Gun as Hannah Montana.
His political career didn't start until after he admitted to having hit himself in the head with a hammer in a Chinese Folk Custom for skin renewal. He was immeditaly loved by the Guns and Rifles Club, and the "I'm an Idiot" club.
Later Life[]
Harry Potter retired after several hundred years of dutiful loyalty to The Crown onboard the H.M.S.S. (Her Majesty's Space Ship) CannyMeetings as Captain Superior of HMSR (Her Majesty's Space-Realm) Harry S. Potter. He retired within proximity to Pandora and abandon Return Liscensure to Planet: Earth, taking up residence on Pandora the rest of his days. Harry Potter Died on Pandora during a local award ceremony when he was struck in the the head by Jessica Simpson with his own trophy.
Links[]
- Lord of the Rings
- Narnia (series)