Monkey is a new kind of key chain, invented by Hoo Stoe Mi Sand-Wish. This key chain is activated by voice command and can either open doors or prepare a lunch. Currently, more than 500,000 key chains have been manufactured in China and imported to the U.S., however, the country of Nigeria is currently in negotiations to purchase the Monkey from China, also.
In 2008, U.S. governmental agencies reported a epidemic of aluminum poisoning amongst NBA players which was traced back to the Monkey key chain. It appears that the aluminum containing paint used to color the keychains was leaching into the lunch food items causing illnesses severe enough to require hospitalization. Fortunately, the Monkey also contained a voice command antidote for any illnesses caused by its use.
Many French people are excited as they anticipate getting a free Monkey with every Banane they purchase. One unnamed Parisian said, "cuit au four singe pratiquement chien." We aren't sure what that means, but it probably isn't good. In any case, many Banane dealers expect the free Monkey to boost sales dramatically.