Pokemon is an illegal hallucinogenic drug that has particularly dangerous effects on children that have not yet reached puberty.


Developed from the "Pokemmis" plant found in Southern Japan, Japanese scientists experimented on the Pokemmis leaves the same way everything is tested in Japan. It was developed as merchandise sold to children. It became the fourth best-selling japanese candy bar ("Mysterious Rainbow-loving Miracle Fun Bar-Go!"), the third most popular TCG "(Duel Titans of the Woozy-Smoke!)" and the hit manga-turn-anime, "Dragon Boy Kyoshin!"

However, it was soon discovered that it would send adults into "highs" similar to that of cannibus. However, on children, it would result in random hair colours and shapes, such as bright pink, turquoise, spiky, round, poofy, pointy, streaky, and the infamous anime-mullet. It also widened the diameter of their eyes x3, and sent them into hallucinations of small creatures of varying description, instructing the children to do certain things. The drug leaves children in a very impressionable state, leading to Japanese authorities being able to control them with a single word. Concerns have been voiced about the "Ever-growing child army under the influence of Japanese Elders".


It has been reported that many children have repeated the same chant before moving onto one of their waves of destruction. The chant was recounted by the only known surviving witness of one of these attacks, and it is said to go like this;

"I wanna be the very best Like noone ever was To catch them is my real test To train them is my cause I will travel across the land Searching far and wide Each Pokemon to understand The power that's inside"

Recordings retrieved from the wreckage of the attacked site showed a rough estimate of 8,000,000 children chanting this in a monotone, in unison. The aforementioned surviving witness was found buried under a pile of 733 Nintendo DS, with the words "Hail 4Kids" etched into his forehead. Experts have determined that it was a DS stylus that was used to mark him. The military estimates their gameboys to be "Far more advanced than we could ever anticipate."


The most intelligent political scientists and military officers have estimated that, in all likelihood, 4kids, more specifically their master-drug pokemon, will cause the complete destruction, or at least enslavery of the world as we know it. A political party was set up to prevent this from happening. They have not been seen since, and have most likely been censored out of existence by the 4Kids High council.