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Toothpick

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[[Category:Manmade Objects]]▼

'''Toothpick''' is a Professional Basketball player, known for breaking the record, "most consecutive games scoring at least 20 points", having played 1200 consecutive games with 20 points scored.

== History ==

=== Early Life and career in NCAA Basketball ===

Toothpick was born in the year ~~1965~~1930, in Wyoming. He attended and graduated from the U.S.C., where he became a popular Basketball player, and the U.F.C. made it to the one of the Bowl games three of the four seasons he was in the U.S.C., and won the NCAA championship one of the seasons, having won the Rose Bowl in one of the seasons, and lost the Orange Bowl in the other.

=== Career in the NBA ===

=== Later Life ===

His later life was rather uneventful until, at the tender age of 4373 (~~late 2000~~2003), he was arrested for a number of crippling charges which his fans still deny to this day.

1. He assaulted the ~~elderly~~team ~~with~~members aof ~~specially~~other ~~designed~~teams ~~"concrete"~~with a basketball.

2. He assaulted police with a ~~concrete~~ basketball.

Toothpick was later sentenced to death by firing squad. It was deemed appropriate by the judge that the firing squad, instead of shooting with guns, be armed with ~~concrete~~ basketballs in order to punish him adequately for his crimes.▼

20 minutes after the firing squad began "firing" Toothpick's ~~last~~reportedly ~~words were reportedly~~said- "Do I get a toilet break or do I have to sit through this? Oh, by the way, I'M INNOCENT!!!" Strangely, the execution was unsuccessful, as Toothpick did not die as the result. So the judge changed his sentence to life in prison instead.▼

At first police assumed that the concrete basketballs used in all of the crimes (there were around about 33 reported incidents with over 114 reported victims although experts speculate that the number of survivors able to report the crimes afterwards would have been low and so the true amount could be appallingly higher) were one and the same, but a raid carried out on his private mansion a couple of months later revealed that his basement had become a concrete basket ball manufacturing factory. A news report later detailed the seizing of over 400 concrete basketballs from the killers basement.

Toothpick died in the year, 2010, at the age of 80.

An investigation was mounted to look into how it was possible for Toothpick to carry out so many calculated murders undetected with such a conspicuous "weapon" for so long, and why after Toothpick was arrested it took the police a full three months to raid his mansion. It was later concluded by the police that the police were totally inadequate and had received poor training or had gained their position in the police force through nepotism. Later all evidence of the investigation was removed from the public domain though many conspiracy theorists still claim to have evidence of its exstence.

▲Toothpick was later sentenced to death by firing squad. It was deemed appropriate by the judge that the firing squad, instead of shooting with guns, be armed with concrete basketballs in order to punish him adequately for his crimes.

▲20 minutes after the firing squad began "firing" Toothpick's last words were reportedly- "Do I get a toilet break or do I have to sit through this? Oh, by the way, I'M INNOCENT!!!"

These last words spurned his adoring and astounded fans into a frenzy on January 11th 2001 and a riot spread across America. It is estimated that the total cost of the damages was far into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Miraculously no one was arrested in connection with the riots further strengthening the local police forces' reputation of near total inadequacy.

== Links ==

*[[Bacon]]

*[[Hockey]]

▲[[Category:Manmade Objects]]

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